When a Counselee Tells Me "I Want to Die" Lived Experiences of Counselors

This qualitative study provides an understanding of the counselors’ experiences of working with suicidal clients. With the increasing rates of suicidality among students, counselors will be working with students exhibiting suicidal behavior. This paper describes the experiences of 10 Registered Guidance Counselors who experienced suicide attempt of their counselees while under their counseling program. The research utilized semi- structured interviews that gathered the personal and professional impact of counselee’s suicide attempt. Results indicated that counselors experienced personal emotional reactions including fear, sadness, disbelief, and guilt. The participants also experienced doubting their professional competence and questioned the extent of their accountability. Coping mechanisms such as social and personal support were also discussed. In addition to this, participants enumerated ways to improve the current status of suicide counseling in the Philippines. Recommendations for further research, implications for the profession, and suggestions for counselors were also discussed.